The Wise Wife Letters

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The Most Important Question To Ask Before You React

When the hard moment hits — the text that makes your stomach drop, the comment that lands like a jab, the decision you have to make about how to respond — what's running through your head? For most of us, it's some version of: What do I deserve here? What does he deserve? What will protect me? Wh...

Jun 26, 2026

The blank line on our anniversary list

About ten years ago, Tim and I were out celebrating our anniversary and he suggested that we go back down memory lane and make a list of what we've done for each of our anniversaries up to that point. We racked our brains (I think it was already year 15 by this point!) and years later, we still a...

Jun 19, 2026

The Wound You Can't See Comes First

Women come to me to heal their marriages – and I love being a part of that. But if I'm being honest, the first thing God wants to heal is not her marriage. It's her. I know. Fighting words. That is the last thing you want to hear when you're staring at so much brokenness in your husband. But we a...

Jun 12, 2026

The Sewage Was Never the Problem

Years ago I walked into our bathroom and found sewage backing up into the toilet. And then into the tub. If you have ever seen that, you know it is exactly as bad as it sounds. Here is what we did not do. We did not stand there scooping it out of the tub while everyone kept flushing the toilets l...

Jun 05, 2026

The scorecard nobody asked me to keep

Last week I was in the kitchen doing what felt like absolutely everything. Cooking. Cleaning. Wiping counters. Loading the dishwasher, again. Circling the house like a one-woman cleaning service while everyone else just sat there, doing their own thing. And I started muttering under my breath. No...

May 29, 2026

Nobody Warned me About This Part of the Restoration

When Tim came home, I thought I had made it. I had prayed, fought, stood, obeyed, cried, and held on when every rational voice in my life told me to let go. And now he was back. He was physically standing in our home. We were a family again. That should have been the reward. That should have ...

May 22, 2026

My Story, Part 1: The Filter I Didn't Know I Had

There was a season in my marriage where I could not find one good thing to say about my husband. Not one. I am not exaggerating. I had mentally catalogued every failure, every disappointment, every thing he had done wrong, and that list had become the lens I looked through every single day. ...

May 15, 2026

You can’t reach him, but God can

I want to tell you a story from the archives of my separation. It’s one that came back to me as I was preparing this week’s podcast episode where I answered a Wise Wife question about anointing oil. Tim and I were estranged. Not just separated-but-still-talking. I mean truly estranged. Distanc...

May 08, 2026

I Thought This Came With Marriage

When Tim and I first got married, I had an expectation I never said out loud. I didn't even fully admit it to myself. But I believed it. I thought marriage was going to turn him into a spiritual leader. I thought we would suddenly pray together at night, read the Bible together in the mornings, ...

May 01, 2026

May You Have Furnace-Level Faith! 🔥

There was a season in my marriage where everything in the natural said, this is over. The patterns hadn’t changed, the evidence stacked up, and fear got really loud. 😟 Not just emotional and overwhelming, but everything also felt urgent. “Fix this.”“Do something.”“Prepare for the worst.” And u...

Apr 24, 2026

Stop Being Your Husband’s Marriage Parole Officer

There was a season in my marriage where I took on a role I was never assigned. I became the Marriage Parole Officer 👮🏻 I didn't call it that at the time, of course. I called it "trying to help." But it looked a lot like keeping mental records of his failures, correcting him, checking up on his...

Apr 17, 2026

Submission Isn’t What You Think (And That’s the Problem)

Submission. For a lot of women, that word alone brings up tension, fear, resistance, or maybe even anger. And honestly, I get it. Because most of what we’ve been taught about submission falls into two extremes: One says: “He’s in charge, no matter what.”The other says: “I answer to God, not him.”...

Apr 09, 2026

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