I want to tell you a story from the archives of my separation.
It’s one that came back to me as I was preparing this week’s podcast episode where I answered a Wise Wife question about anointing oil.
Tim and I were estranged. Not just separated-but-still-talking. I mean truly estranged. Distance. Silence. Missing.
And I was desperate.
I had heard women talk about anointing something — an object your husband carries or wears. Something you pray over. Something you give to God as a point of faith.
I remember thinking:
“But Lord… I don’t have anything.”
There was no shared closet. No shoes at the door. No wallet on the counter. There was only distance. Silence. Estrangement.
And if you’ve ever been in that place — you know the ache. You want to pray. You want to believe. You want to do something with your faith.
When the hard moment hits — the text that makes your stomach drop, the comment that lands like a jab, the decision you have to make about how to respond — what's running through your head?
For most of us, it's some version of: What do I deserve here? What does he deserve? What will protect me? What will make him finally see?
I've spent nearly twenty years walking with women through the hardest ...
About ten years ago, Tim and I were out celebrating our anniversary and he suggested that we go back down memory lane and make a list of what we've done for each of our anniversaries up to that point. We racked our brains (I think it was already year 15 by this point!) and years later, we still add to that list on every anniversary.
Each year, we mark down the city we celebrated in, where we ma...
Women come to me to heal their marriages – and I love being a part of that. But if I'm being honest, the first thing God wants to heal is not her marriage. It's her.
I know. Fighting words.
That is the last thing you want to hear when you're staring at so much brokenness in your husband. But we are not here to dictate a timeline for someone else's healing. We're here to get honest about ours.
B...
The Wise Wife Letters
A weekly letter for the wife who is standing alone, fighting the right fight, and refusing to let fear run the house.
