The onea Narcissist
Today I want to sail right into a topic that is getting a lot of attention these days: Is my husband a narcissist?
It's an important question, and I want to answer it with both honesty and care. In my nearly 20 years of helping women and hearing their very personal stories – stories they’ve never shared with anyone else – I have seen just how many marriages are dealing with narcissistic behavior behind closed doors. Stories of gross abuse and heinous behavior that gets covered up in blameshifting, gaslighting, and deflection.
At its core, narcissism is about control and dominating others in order to secure that control. But to be fair, all of us have a human nature that desires control – so we ALL have the temptation to act out in narcissistic ways. But where is the tipping point? At what point does someone’s narcissistic tendencies become their personality?
While I’m not a psychologist and I have no interest in giving you an official diagnosis, I do believe that we all have a responsibility to search the scriptures and to let those scriptures be our guide. And in my experience, I have seen the enemy of our souls use religious language, a lack of biblical literacy, and guilt to keep women trapped in what are very abusive, controlling relationships with no end in sight.
So if you've ever stayed awake replaying a conversation, wondering if you overreacted, wondering if you're the problem, I see you. If you've walked on eggshells so long you forgot what it feels like to breathe freely in your own home, I see you. If you've been told you're too sensitive, too emotional, not submissive enough, when all you did was name what was happening, I see you.
The ache in your gut that says this isn't how love is supposed to feel is not rebellion. It's discernment. God gave it to you for a reason.
