E34 My Marriage Stand, Part 1
My Marriage Stand: Part 1 β I Hated My Husband
There was a time I hated my husband. Not the small kind of hate. The kind where you lie awake at night wondering if you married your mortal enemy.
And the part that's even harder to say? I thought I was the good one.
This is Part 1 of a 3-part series where I'm telling my full story. Not the cleaned up version. The actual story of how my marriage died, what was really happening underneath it, and what God did with all of it.
In this episode I talk about how we met, what we both brought into the marriage that we never dealt with, the slow collapse that followed, and the moment I found out it was over. I gave up on my marriage. Then I gave up on God. And that's where Part 1 ends.
If you're in a hard marriage right now, this one is for you. Not because it's going to be easy to hear, but because I'm not going to pretend it was easy to live.
Key Takeaways
We both came into marriage with idolatry. I wanted Tim to be my spiritual leader, my validator, my everything. He came in with a survival mentality. Neither of us knew what we were doing, and nobody in the church had equipped us for any of it.
The turtling is the most dangerous place. When a wife has tried and tried and finally just shuts down and concedes, that's not peace. That's the enemy's finish line.
Giving up on your marriage is bad but recoverable. Giving up on God is the real crisis. That's what I did, and that's what the enemy was after the whole time.
My heart posture was the problem. There was truth in everything I was bringing to God. But I was bringing it as a victim demanding a verdict, not as a wife asking what needed to change in me.
The more he failed, the more controlling I became. And the more controlling I became, the more he withdrew. We fed each other's worst patterns for years before anything broke open.
Resources
Wise Wife Conference 2026 β Atlanta https://www.wisewife.co/wise-wife-conference-2026
Wise Wife Co Community https://www.wisewife.co/community-sp
The Wise Wife Letters β Weekly Newsletter https://www.wisewife.co/newsletters/the-wise-wife-letters/
This is Part 1 of 3. Part 2 β What God Did With the Wreckage β is coming soon.
