Your husband is likely operating from a Dominance stronghold

Somewhere along the way, he came into agreement with a lie: "I must never be powerless again. If I stay in control, I'll stay safe."

That lie is why he has to be right. Why conversations turn into a review of your failures. Why he can't admit fault, goes cold when confronted, and why everything has to go his way or not at all.

If that just described your husband, keep reading, because how you respond to this stronghold matters more than you know.

A dominance stronghold has a specific antidote: consequences and accountability that lead to a confrontation with reality -- something the dominant stronghold prefers to avoid.

Not lectures. Not logic. CERTAINLY not your feelings. It doesn't respond to one more attempt at defending yourself. Because arrogant pride does not respond to words. It responds to reality. It responds to truth, enforced. Not the truth they want you to believe but REAL TRUTH -- that thing they have been gaslighting and manipulating in order to avoid confronting.

One thing you can do today: stop repeating yourself. Say what's true once, calmly, and don't chase him around the argument to make him admit it. Every re-explanation hands him another round of the fight he wants, and that feeds the stronghold.

That's a piece of your answer. The full analysis goes further: what this stronghold is doing to you, the specific ways wives unknowingly feed a dominant spirit, and more strategies on how to starve it instead.

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URGENT NOTE: if his behavior includes threats, intimidation, or any kind of harm, get to safety first. That comes before any strategy on this page. You honor God by removing yourself (and any children) from someone's threats against your safety.